


Bad Things Happen Bingo - Skulduggery Pleasant

by UmbralJxrk



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Abuse, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Humiliation, Injury, M/M, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 09:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20112853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbralJxrk/pseuds/UmbralJxrk
Summary: These oneshots are for the 'Bad Things Happen' thing I'm doing on my SP tumblr blog.https://facelessxchurch.tumblr.com/post/186010005717/here-is-your-card-for-bad-things-happen-bingo





	Bad Things Happen Bingo - Skulduggery Pleasant

**Author's Note:**

> ONESHOT. An AU where Serpine gets captured and locked into the Sanctuary Gaol instead of getting killed.
> 
> Anon requested the prompt 'Touch Starved' for Baronpine.

Nefarian Serpine sat on the ground, his back leaned against the bars of the little cage he had been looked into. The Sanctuary Goal was an awful place. Below ground level no natural light was able to reach the inmates, instead they were illuminated by a constant artificial light, making it impossible to tell night and day apart. Nefarian had lost track of time. For all he knew he could have been down here for months or only hours. The cage kept his body nourished, so there was no need for drink, food or other physical necessities that would have given him a sense of passing time. At the very least the cages were big enough to lay down in.  _ How considerate of them, _ Nefarian thought to himself, a scowl on his face.

The highlight of his stay so far had been a visit from the skeleton detective himself.

“Why didn’t you kill me?” Green eyes met empty sockets. The beam of the Sceptre of the Ancients had missed him by an inch pulverizing the wall behind him. The Sceptre hadn’t bound to him - presumably thanks to the necromantic black blood running through his veins- the other could have easily used it to turn him to dust.

Skulduggery had cocked his head to the side ever so slightly, the blank bone of his skull as unreadable as ever. “Because I know you, Nefarian. This is worse than death for you.”

He had never returned after that.

With no books, TV, alcohol, drugs or anything else he could possible derive any joy from, the other inmates were his only source of entertainment. Considering how one half of the them hated his guts and the other half wanted nothing to do with him, what dreadful form of entertainment  _ that _ was. The Sanctuaries Goal was filled with with the deprived, insane and sadistic. Some as bad as Serpine, some worse. None of which he could possible charm into being a follower of his. 

One snarky remark too many and suddenly Serpine found himself with a hand covering his mouth and pulled against the bars of his cage. A large man had reached from another cage into his and gotten a hold of him. “Listen up you little shit-!” He was cut off by the Adept biting down on his hand, hard. Nefarian broke free and swirled around to jab at the others throat, but he recovered in time to catch his wrists, twisting it and forcing him on his knees, his beautifully delicate features twisted in pain. The other inmates were cheering and laughing at the spectacle.

“And here was thinking you were supposed to be the charming one of Mevolent’s old generals, pretty boy.” The brutish man sneered, a broad smile plastered on his ugly face. “Seems I’ll have to teach you some manners. Since you’re new here I’ll be nice and let you decide which of your fingers I’ll break first.”

Serpine forced a smile on his lips and flipped him off. The ugly man laughed and broke his middle finger first.

After discovering how fast the black-blooded Adept could heal the ugly man had made a game out of breaking his fingers over and over again, while his unwilling toy was trashing and struggling to get away to no avail. Eventually the other grew bored of this game and let go for Nefarian to scramble into the middle of his cage where no one could reach him, hand clutched to his chest while his bones popped back into place, healing it completely within seconds. Tears were streaming down his face, smearing his eyeliner, while the other inmates laughed and mocked him. The humiliation hurt worse than the injurieries.

Another man, inhabiting the cage on the opposite site, tried to do the same the first chance he got, unprompted and catching Nefarian by surprise. Scrawny arms were wrapping around Serpine’s throat, trying to put him into a stranglehold. He thrusted his elbow through the bars and hit the other in the ribs. The scraggly looking old man that had assaulted him gagged, the air pressed out of his lungs, and tried to retreat. The Adept was faster and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him close and ramming his knee against the others elbow, breaking the joint. The old man let out a piggish screech, which became ear piercingly shrill as Serpine pushed his fingers into his eye sockets. Blood streaming from his damaged eyes, he screamed and sobbed, scrambling away from the former general. “My eyes, my eyes!!” He whimpered, clawing at his face. “What have you done to my EYES!?” His agonized howls were met with laughter. There was no sympathy in this gaol. For no one.

Nefarian Serpine was sitting in the middle of his cage, emerald eyes wandering, thinking, looking for a way out. He saw a soft glow emitting from the top of the other cages. That’s where they must have etched the sigils that were keeping them alive and their magic bound into. If only he could reach them, break them. If not to unbind his magic, then at the very least to cut his life support, so to say. Nefarian was chewing on his lower lip. Could he even starve? Die of thirst? Unlikely, his black blood would keep him alive for better or worse. Was he even alive? An eternity without corporal pleasures, such as drink and food, drugs, a lover to hold in his arms and to be held safe and sound, tightly, against a strong chest… this place was hell. These cages granted him no privacy, no protection from prying eyes either, so he couldn’t even find comfort in his own touch. He wrapped his arms tighter around himself, desperately wishing they were Mevolent’s or Baron’s instead. What would he give to get even the lovers back he had previously scorned. He had never loved Vindick, but he had been a sweet thing, ever loyal to his master. He even missed Tome’s touch despite having previously recoiled in disgust from it. Back then it had taken all his willpower to not slap his hand away, but now he was yearning for it, for even he was better than nothing.

How long had he been down here? Years? Decades? His hair and his nails weren’t growing. Time stood still here or perhaps the very concept of time was lost in this place. What would he give for a friendly face, for any kind of distraction of this misery and boredom, this soul shattering loneliness among a dozen of lost souls. He hated himself, his thoughts and his weakness. Hated how he even yearned for that ugly and brutish man’s touch, painful and humiliating as it had been, to let him know that he is still alive, that this is real, to feel anything at all. Oh, how that touch had reminded him of-

A silent cracking could be heard, drowned out by the endless squabbling of the other inmates, but growing louder and louder. Serpine’s eyes shot open and he stared at the floor in front of his cage. Cracks were forming, spreading. One by one the other prisoners noticed it as well and were staring at the spot until finally the ground broke open and Billy-Ray Sanguine and Baron Vengeous emerged from the newly formed hole.

“Baron!” Instantly the Adept was on his feet and pressing himself against the bars of the cage, reaching out for his old lover. “Is that really you?”

“Of course it is.” Vengeous in turn rushed to the cage that held the very love of his life, getting a hold of his hands, both of them too impatient to wait any longer for the others touch. “What else would I do after escaping prison, than finding my insufferable counterpart?”

The older’s eyes flashed golden and the lock of his cage broke, the door swinging open. 

Serpine couldn’t help but to grin at that old term of teasing endearment as he jumped into the taller’s open embrace. Strong arms wrapped around him and held him close in a warm bear hug while Nefarian clinged on to him for dear life, pressing his body against Baron’s as tho he wanted to crawl into him. For a moment they just stood there like that, forgetting the world around them and enjoying each others presence. Nefarian took a deep breath, taking in the other’s scent before looking up to him, grinning with tears shimmering like diamonds in those beautiful emerald eyes. “I thought I would never see you again.”

Cupping the younger's face with one hand Baron gently wiped a tear from his cheek with his thumb before pressing a kiss on his forehead. “We belong together and thus our dark Gods will always find a way to lead us back to each other. We are meant to bring them back  _ together _ after all.”

“This indeed is a miracle worthy of our Gods.”, Nefarian agreed, resting his forehead against Baron’s. “How  _ did _ you escape?” He still wasn’t entirely sure this wasn’t all just a cruel dream.

“Sanguine finally did his duty and freed me.” There was an edge to his voice and Serpine frowned. “After how many years?”

“Eighty.” Vengeous voice had turned to a dark growl. “I’ll talk with him about that later.”

“Eighty years.” Nefarian repeated, eyes narrowed in confusion. “That means I’ve only spend one year in the gaol…”

“Yes, you-”

“As heart-warming as this is.” Sanguine interrupted him, clearly uncomfortable with such an display of affection. “It’s time for us to go before a certain someone decides to crash the party.”

Vengeous nodded. “I have no doubt the sanctuary has been alerted of my recent escape. The abomination must know that you are my first priority, Nefarian.”

They gathered around Sanguine to leave, Baron’s arm draped around his lovers shoulder when a ruff voice drew their attention.

“What about us?” One prisoner asked. 

“What about you?”, Serpine retorted, his tone cold.

“You can’t just leave us behind like this!” A shriller voice chimed in, earning an irritated glare from Vengeous. “And why is that?”

“You… uh....” The prisoner trailed off and another continued. “You’ll need a distraction to escape!”

“Believe me, partner, we don’t.” Sanguine grabbing both generals, ready to tunnel them out of that hellish place, but Serpine ripped his arm away from him as the ugly, brutish man spoke up. “Hey!”, the Texan protested, but the Adept ignored him.

“Repeat that.” His poisonous gaze was fixated on the ugly man’s face.

“If you don’t let us out we’ll scream and alert the cleavers!” An empty threat. No one could hear the down here. No one cared. A smirk curved thin lips.

“Yes,  _ that  _ is a great idea.” He pulled the glove off his red right hand as he approached his prior abuser. “Please,  _ do _ scream for me.”


End file.
